2. I think the Little Rascal's had it right, girls are icky. Army girls seem to be a special brand of icky, too. There is so much gossip, so much lying, so much backstabbing, so much fakeness. It's a hellish place to try and make real, true friendships. Especially for folks like myself. Believe it or not, being a blogger and all, I'm actually quite the private person. I don't open up easily, mainly because I just don't trust people. Not enough people have ever really proven themselves trustworthy, so I just stick with my natural pessimism and assume most people are selfish jackasses. (Excuse my beautiful french language, it just comes so naturally.) But our generation just isn't making that great of a name for themselves when it comes to relationships. Either way, I was reminded recently why I don't open up to a majority of people, and why the people who are close to me, are close to me because they loved me enough to put in years of 'getting to know you' time. Yes, that's right, years. And by God, talk to those people, and they will tell you I am one of the most dedicated, most loving, most selfless, most loyal friends you'll ever meet. But talk to people who think they can get to know me in a few weeks, or a few months, and they'll tell you I'm a cold asshole. Too many relationships these days are built upon convenience and lies, and the "What can I get out of this?" phenomenon sweeping our nation. Well, as far as I'm concerned, I'm happy to go back into my little cubby hole and pray, anxiously, to make it back home to real friends and family, as soon as absolutely possible. Just my opinion...take it or leave it.
3. It's hard to try and reorganize your perspective on life, but so many times it's necessary. (Apparently, I'm not the only blogger pondering perspective this week either...check out THIS beautiful lady's thoughts as well.) The past couple of weeks that I've been back from my medical leave, I've spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and my situation. Wondering why on earth this serious of an injury, this life-limiting of an injury, happened to someone so active and athletic as myself. Contemplating why so much of what I love doing would be taken away from me for so long (still being told it'll be 6 months before I can run again, sigh). And on top of it all, this morning my sergeant made me privy to the information that they've started "Fit For Duty" paperwork on me. What this means, is they are requesting a full medical examination to see whether or not I'm fit to stay in the Army. All of this crap piled together, and I'm one bummed pig, thinking way too much, and way too hard, on the worries and anxieties that all this brings. Now, I haven't quite figured out how to 100% change my perspective, but I'm trying. Trying to look for signs and symbols that there is a bigger reason, a real purpose, for the situation I'm in, and the currently craptastic path I'm walking...or hobbling, if I may. Hopefully my follow-up doctor's appointment next Monday, after an amazing weekend with MonkeyHubby, will bring the necessary revitalization to my current perspective. Prayers lifted!
Well, well, now that that's all off my chest, I think it's time for a feel-better oreo!
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